Balancing game

We've entered the world of tantrums. I thought when she was around 18 months that she was throwing tantrums but I really had no idea and I'm sure when I reflect back on her 3rd birthday I'll laugh at what I thought was a tantrum again.

Hailey pulls out all the stops, arching her back, throwing her head back, water works, red face, screaming, kicking, throwing, hitting. All the wonderful things I assumed they were about. At least she's not letting me down.

I know this is normal and she will outgrow it...as long as we discipline her appropriately. But some times I just feel so helpless. I want to make sure I'm responding correctly and out of love but firm. I don't want her to think she can get away with everything. Such a delicate balance I feel that I have to walk.

I'm learning. She's learning. She knows she can test me and try and creep out of her corner. This evokes a finger pointing from her mom and a "get back in that corner". Her response is to smile and giggle. I think she has graduating up from the corner to her crib on her next crazy tantrum she just doesn't know it yet. The corner can no longer contain her.

She even hits me and tells me she needs to go in another time out. Like it's something fun to do. I keep telling her when she is nice she doesn't have to go in there, only when she hits mommy. We always explain to her afterwards by crouching down and asking her if she understands why she was in the time out; so she crouches down and tells us why, says she's sorry then gives us a hug.

So quickly she forgets and moves on. So quickly my patience tank fills back up. I never knew how much I struggled with patience until she hit 2. I'm not the only mom to want to do her best and feel like I've failed on a daily basis I know, but it's hard not to beat yourself up some days for not responding or acting just right all the time. That would mean I was perfect I know and of course I'm not. I just want the best for her, for me to be the best mom I can be providing the balance of love and discipline.

On a sweet note, I was praying with Hailey in my arms before a nap or bed time I can't remember and at times I've held her cheeks in my hands and kissed her cheeks. So that day she put her little chubby fingers on my cheeks and kissed both my cheeks...with the sound effects. How quickly she learns the bad stuff (like mommy saying shoot!) and the sweet stuff...the delicate touch of her fingers and the adorable little kisses.

She continues to melt my heart every day.

2 Years Old

I've been on a bit of a break from this blog. I'm terrible for keeping it up but very loyal in reading everyone elses blogs. So I thought I'd try this again.

Hailey celebrated her second birthday this past Saturday with some close friends. She was loving life playing with her friends Oscar and Jaxson. She played hard for 4 hours and loved every minute of it. She ate her chocolate cake like a lady with her fork...crazy I know. She was so happy with the purple, pink and blue ballons that her daddy bought her. That's all she asked for. Life is good when your two!

Hard to believe she is two already. The first year of her life went by a little slowly but this second year flew by. She took her first steps June 11, I only remember because that was the opening day of world cup and we had her in her soccer uniform that Nana and Papa Mac bought her from England. She's talking a mile a minute, I think only we can understand most of it but once you spend a little time with her you catch on pretty quick. She's still busting out crazy facial expressions which I think might come from her Papa Mac.

Her personality is shining through more and more. Not sure if this is a toddler thing but I joke around and say I think I've figured out her love language already...quality time! She's not one for cuddling or touching but she loves your full attention ALL the time. In fact she'll actually say "no touch" That's my girl!

She will play by herself but she'd rather have some one sitting beside her. This past year Brad and I both felt guilty about being on our phones around her so we try and put them away while she's around. She's old enough now that she'll just be extra loud until you put it down. Now if I'm on it I just tell her what I'm doing so she knows I'm not ignoring her.

She still has no patience. I always tell her to put her patient pants on so she does a little dance and tries to say patient pants, that works about 50% of the time but I'll take it! I'm hoping this is a toddler thing but I have a feeling its partly her personality. I've discovered I'm not the most patient mommy every. I actually pray every day for the Lord to grant me patience and maybe be more patient with me as I struggle. It's funny, when she was 3 months old and would cry and cry forever I could handle that but it's harder to have patience for whinning for no reason. Parenting would be too easy if I was patient I think.

She loves to watch movies and read her books. Nana Mac bought her a Thomas book over Spring break and we read all five stories at least 2-3 times a day. I love that she loves to read. I remember when I was pregnant one of the things I was looking forward to most was spending time reading together. Now we can spend forever just sitting in her chair, rocking and reading.

This time last year she was freaked out about grass and actually anything but carpet. Now she loves to run around in the yard and play in the garage.

We're so blessed to have such a beautiful little girl. She cracks me up daily and we love to watch her just LOVE life. She loves to dance still, now we dance around to some worship music Nana Ogden bought her. She'll even go get some shakers out or pat her knees.

Life is good. We're so blessed and I thank the good Lord for that every day!