Balancing game

We've entered the world of tantrums. I thought when she was around 18 months that she was throwing tantrums but I really had no idea and I'm sure when I reflect back on her 3rd birthday I'll laugh at what I thought was a tantrum again.

Hailey pulls out all the stops, arching her back, throwing her head back, water works, red face, screaming, kicking, throwing, hitting. All the wonderful things I assumed they were about. At least she's not letting me down.

I know this is normal and she will outgrow it...as long as we discipline her appropriately. But some times I just feel so helpless. I want to make sure I'm responding correctly and out of love but firm. I don't want her to think she can get away with everything. Such a delicate balance I feel that I have to walk.

I'm learning. She's learning. She knows she can test me and try and creep out of her corner. This evokes a finger pointing from her mom and a "get back in that corner". Her response is to smile and giggle. I think she has graduating up from the corner to her crib on her next crazy tantrum she just doesn't know it yet. The corner can no longer contain her.

She even hits me and tells me she needs to go in another time out. Like it's something fun to do. I keep telling her when she is nice she doesn't have to go in there, only when she hits mommy. We always explain to her afterwards by crouching down and asking her if she understands why she was in the time out; so she crouches down and tells us why, says she's sorry then gives us a hug.

So quickly she forgets and moves on. So quickly my patience tank fills back up. I never knew how much I struggled with patience until she hit 2. I'm not the only mom to want to do her best and feel like I've failed on a daily basis I know, but it's hard not to beat yourself up some days for not responding or acting just right all the time. That would mean I was perfect I know and of course I'm not. I just want the best for her, for me to be the best mom I can be providing the balance of love and discipline.

On a sweet note, I was praying with Hailey in my arms before a nap or bed time I can't remember and at times I've held her cheeks in my hands and kissed her cheeks. So that day she put her little chubby fingers on my cheeks and kissed both my cheeks...with the sound effects. How quickly she learns the bad stuff (like mommy saying shoot!) and the sweet stuff...the delicate touch of her fingers and the adorable little kisses.

She continues to melt my heart every day.