Doctor

Hailey has been sick for a little more then a week with a bad 'smokers' cough and a runny nose. I had been debating if I should take her to the doctor or not. I was concerned about the sound of her cough and the fact that it seemed to be in her chest. Once again I found myself feeling completely clueless and not wanting to be an over worried first time mom. So I let it go.

Saturday she got a fever, still had it Sunday and in the morning got one again. So I called, got her in and while we were there her fever was the highest it's been. So she got checked out and everything seemed to be ok. The doctor sent her for x-rays of her chest to make sure she doesn't have phenomena. My first thought was 'am I going to have to hold her for an xray?'. I soon found out...let's just say I hope I NEVER have take her to have an xray ever again. She had to be placed in a tight plastic tube, with her arms straight above her head. It was terrible, I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. She was screaming and there was nothing I could do. I was standing beside her for all of it but the first shot she was facing a black slate and the next she was turned facing me, screaming, looking desparate for me to help her and I couldn't. I HATED it. I was so worried she'd think I didn't want to help her.

I know I'm going to have to learn to be tougher but it breaks my heart to see her in pain and not being able to fix it.