God's Will

When our immigration madness first started happening 4 years ago I was constantly stressed out. I kept praying and crying out to God to just please show me your will! I begged and pleaded with the Lord but still nothing. We went through crazy ups and downs and I constantly struggled with "where does God want us to be" and why the heck is He so silent on this...it's kind of a big deal. I can definetly say my communication with the Lord was great during that time!

The Lord spoke to us in a powerful way three years ago when we had to leave our home and live with my parents for 4 months and I felt confident (kinda) leaving knowing the big guy upstairs has this whole mess under control. When we got there I was tense and angry every day. Dreading opening up my email with a bad message from immigration. One morning I woke up and got on my knees and just wept before the Lord and asked Him to please end it, to tell us that day. I just begged and poured my heart out to Him. Then it happened. We got the visa we needed. I was shocked. I had prepared myself for a no. Brad and I struggled with what to do, where to go again. We had lost sight of God answering our first prayer for the visa that we felt He wasn't answering our new prayers of where He wanted us to be.

Once again the begging, crying, anger and confusion set in. Why isn't God answering my cries for help? Why is he so silent. All I want is His direction. I decided to start a study on the book of Isaiah; there God gave me a scripture "whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice saying 'this is the way, walk in it". I felt the Lord's peace with that verse rest on my soul and we returned to Brownsburg in October.

Now we find ourselves waiting again, me begging God again to just finish this mess and get it over with. I feel more prepared this time though. I recognize God is in control, I'm just eager to here what he's got planned for our future. But it just hit me the other day, finally, that I don't need to keep begging God to show me His will because we are living in it right now. Brad confirmed that lesson when he told me he learned the same thing when reading Francis Chan's book Forgotten God. I need to change my prayers from asking God for an answer to asking God for patience for me and peace while we wait.

Another lesson learned...courtesy of US Immigration :)